Another Day, Different Time, Same Place

Tumblr, I always seem to find you when I have so much on my mind and I feel like no one is listening.

Honestly, I’ve been amazing these past few months, but it’s at that time I started questioning if it was legit or not.

It’s hard to look at the one person who has been your life for months now, and question where their heart is really at, or what their intentions are. 

I feel like I’ve fallen right back into the same nightmare as I was in with my ex, and that is so scary to me. 

Contemplating just walking away from the relationship, no questions asked, just ending it before I realize everything I thought was true was a lie and I end up just broken to pieces like before.

It took..two years to be open minded about love again, I can’t let that happen again.

Good things do come to those who wait. :) after six long months of waiting and hinting I can finally say I have an awesome boyfriend. I’ve never felt so happy and I’ve never had so much fun. The feeling of someone caring so much about me driving home alone, or the fact that he doesn’t touch his phone when he is with me is amazing. I’m not used to this, but I could get used to it. I’m taking things slow and hoping for the absolute best. I thank everyone who has supported me from day one :)

Please don’t let it end, before we begin! :)

It’s that time again. Time to say goodbye to another long year, and welcome yet another one. This time of the year always gets me. I sit here and think back on what I’ve done, what I should’ve done, all the things I could have done and all the things I know could have been different. I’m always ready for a new year with hopes to start all over, but recently, I’ve been sad to see another year. There were so many things I had hoped for this year, and not many of them occurred. I can’t help but think this coming year will be the same. 

I usually make up some goofy, pointless new years resolution, but I think this year I want to do something meaningful. I want to be happy, comfortable and live life to the fullest. Everything else should fall into place. 

It’s time to stop thinking back on the past, and comparing the present to it. It’s time to move on, be happy and start over new. I blame a lot of how I am today on a major situation that occurred in my life almost three years ago. Three years is a long time to dwell on something so pointless, something so ridiculous. 

I know how to enjoy the little things in life now. The worst situations have taught me that. I’ve learned that the littlest things get me through another long day at work, or another class in school. I just keep pushing on. I wouldn’t be anywhere with out all of my friends and family who keep me going. I truly am blessed.

TwentyOhOneOne has not been my worst year, but it has been the year that has opened my eyes the most. It definitely could have been better, but much worse things have occurred. I am thankful for every day I have made it through, and I’m ready for a new year to come my way.

With that being said, I’m hoping to bring the new year in how I’ve always wanted this year. I have this silly little dream made up in my head, and even though I know it may not come true, it’s nice to dream. 

Bring it 2012!

jessicalynnk:

i kinda sorta like you a lot more than i thought.

i just kinda hope you feel the same way..

Story of my life.

Daughtry always has a song that matches EXACTLY what is going on in my life. It’s quite scary actually..

“You never know when you’re gonna meet someone
And your whole wide world, in a moment, comes undone
You’re just walking around then suddenly
Everything that you thought that you knew about love is gone
You find out it’s all been wrong
And all my scars don’t seem to matter anymore
‘Cause they led me here to you

I know that it’s gonna take some time
I’ve got to admit that the thought has crossed my mind
That this might end up like it should
And I’m gonna say what I need to say
And hope to God that it don’t scare you away
Don’t want to be misunderstood
But I’m starting to believe that
This could be the start of something good

Everyone knows life has it’s ups and downs
One day you’re on top of the world
Then one day you’re the clown
Well, I’ve been both enough to know
That you don’t wanna get in the way when it’s working out
The way that it is right now
You see my heart, I wear it on my sleeve
‘Cause I just can’t hide it anymore

I know that it’s gonna take some time
I’ve got to admit that the thought has crossed my mind
That this might end up like it should
And I’m gonna say what I need to say
And hope to God that it don’t scare you away
I don’t want to be misunderstood
But I’m starting to believe that
This could be the start

‘Cause I don’t know where it’s going
There’s a part of me that loves not knowing
Just don’t let it end before we begin…
You never know when you’re gonna meet someone
And your whole wide world in a moment comes undone

I know that it’s gonna take some time
I’ve got to admit that the thought has crossed my mind
That this might end up like it should
And I’m gonna say what I need to say
And hope to God that it don’t scare you away
I don’t want to be misunderstood
But I’m starting to believe
Oh, I’m starting to believe
That this could be the start of something good
Yeah yea, the start of something good
Yeah yea, the start of something good
Yeah this could be the start of something good.”

Touche.. :/

Sometimes I like to hope the worst comes out in me, for various good reasons. How true this is, well, it depends on who you ask and if they support me and my decisions or not.

My most recent decision takes me back to my high school days and anyone who knew me in high school can probably guess what I mean.

I fight for what I feel is worth it and I know this is worth it.

I haven’t been this happy in forever, and dumb bitch had to get in the way. 

This. Is. War.

Something tells me this situation just isn’t going how I want it to. I’ll keep up the fight for now, but I’m not positive things are going to go my way. Just gotta keep on keepin on!

The days seem to be getting so much lonelier, it’s sort of driving me nearly insane. Sitting here in a dark apartment and the only thing keeping me company is my new found addiction to Parachute. I guess their songs don’t really help with the feeling alone thing. 

It’s funny how attempting to write a paper on the Virginia Tech shooting ends up with me Tumblin’ and Youtubin’. MLIA.

Everyone also keeps discussing the first snow fall, and I have yet to see any snow today. I think I need new glasses anyways. lol

I know I have SO much I can Tumble about, but honestly, I don’t know how to put everything in words, and I’m in no mood to figure it out right now.

“And the scars that she hides, with those stars in her eyes, like the echoes, “they’re all the same”, cause it’s all been done before, yes it’s all been done before, and oh, you can let this one go, you can try on your own, but I want you to be here. ♥”